Women in the 19C United States of America: Etiquette for American Ladies 1840

Friday, January 11, 2019

Etiquette for American Ladies 1840 - On Departing Guests

Etiquette for Ladies: With Hints on the Preservation, Improvement, and Display of Female Beauty. Published by Lea and Blanchard, Philadelphia. 1838-1840

When visitors show any intention of leaving you, you ought affectionately to endeavour to detain them ; nevertheless, if their resolution seems immoveable, renew your invitations for another visit, and your regret at not having been able to succeed better in retaining them.

To do the honors of one's own house, it is necessary to have tact, address, and knowledge of the world, a great evenness of temper, and much affability. It is necessary to forget one's self, in order to be occupied with others, but without hurry or affectation; to encourage timid persons, and put them at their ease; and to enter into conversation, directing it with address rather than sustaining it ourselves.

The mistress of a house ought to be obliging, of an equal temper, and attentive in accommodating herself to the particular tastes of every one, especially to appear delighted that guests are with her, and make themselves perfectly at home.

They, on their part, should show themselves contented and grateful for the reception that is given; and should immediately on arriving at home, write to the persons who have entertained them, a letter of cordial thanks.
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About this blog

In colonial America, men were considered superior to woman in all ways. In a strict patriarchal hierarchy, men controlled not only wealth & political power but also how their children were raised, religious questions, & all matters of right & wrong.

In the early part of the 19Cy, however, many Americans experienced a revolution in gender. The doctrine of “separate spheres” maintained that woman’s sphere was the world of privacy, family, & morality while man’s sphere was the public world -– economic striving, political maneuvering, & social competition. But women were interested in equality.

In 1848, New York passed the Married Woman’s Property Act. Now a woman wasn’t automatically liable for her husband’s debts; she could enter contracts on her own; she could collect rents or receive an inheritance in her own right; she could file a lawsuit on her own behalf. She became for economic purposes, an individual. By 1900, every state has passed legislation modeled after this, granting married women some control over their property and earnings.

In 1870 after the Civi War, the 15th Amendment was ratified, saying, “The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.” African-Americans could vote, but women could not.

But it was not until 1920, that the 19th Amendment was ratified granting women the right to vote. “The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.”